It seems like I’m getting tested for covid every month now as this has been my third time with a stick in my face. Each testing of mine is more ridiculous and memorable than the other. This last one was no exception.

My first covid test was in Greece as I was randomly selected on my holiday there. You can read more about it in my How I got tested for COVID on Vacation in Greece. The second one took 8 hours of waiting for the test and 3 days for results and you can read the whole story in my Ridiculous COVID-19 testing story. And this is how my third time with the covid test went:

Za 700 korun se dozvíte, zda jste prodělali covid-19. Testy mohou upřesnit  i promořenost populace

For the first time, I went to testing because I was actually feeling sick.

I was extremely tired, I barely got out of bed, my whole body hurt, my temperature was high and I was coughing like crazy. With Czechia being the worst in corona these days and with 15K new cases a day it’s not hard to guess what I was afraid of. But I still hoped for the flu, what is a ridiculous thing to hope for, or a simple cold.

If you have any symptoms remotely close to covid-19, or any other infectious respiratory illness you’re not allowed to physically visit the doctor for safety reasons. All of the doctors’ appointments are via phone so I simply called mine, described her my symptoms and she send me to the tests, paid by my insurance.

I decided to get my tests done at the same place as last time even though I waited ridiculously long for it.

But you know, it’s the devil you know.

I planned on being smarter than before when I came just 30 minutes before the testing clinic opening hours and this time come at least an hour early.

Testování na koronavirus (COVID-19) pro samoplátce. Otestovat se může  kdokoliv na vybraných odběrových pracovištích SYNLAB. Nabízíme dva testy –  na přímý průkaz infekce koronaviru a na protilátky koronaviru. Na oba tyto  testy

It was 6:45 when I arrived at the testing, even though they open at 8:00, very pleased with myself.

It’s been a cold, dark, and early morning. I was dosed on medications and wrapped in my winter clothing. I even packed a lunch with me, prepared for a long day in a testing line like before.

So you can imagine my surprise when I arrived at a huge light-up sign that said: “Covid-19 sampling point” and there was no one there. No huge line already forming or anything.

After an initial shock, I looked around and saw 2 people standing nearby, presumably waiting for the test as well. And that was it. No hundred people in the queue before me like last time.

Thinking about how I could have slept in, I stepped aside and waited.

Testování na koronavirus (COVID-19) pro samoplátce. Otestovat se může  kdokoliv na vybraných odběrových pracovištích SYNLAB. Nabízíme dva testy –  na přímý průkaz infekce koronaviru a na protilátky koronaviru. Na oba tyto  testy

Standing in Prague’s city center at such an unholy hour, you tend to meet a lot of interesting individuals. Like this old man with 5 huge labradors walking around. Made my day much better until I noticed another man.

He could be around 40 years old and he wasn’t wearing a face mask as he very slowly passed by me, never taking his eyes off me. I just thought: “what a weirdo” to myself and didn’t pay any more attention to him.

Suddenly he passed by me again as he kept staring. The guy stopped nearby, facing me and creepily staring at me.

I was getting super uncomfortable. It was still dark and there were very few people around me and I kept thinking “I’m way too sick to defend myself now”. 

It’s been literally 15 minutes cuz I was checking it, and the creepy dude kept doing his laps around me, standing in different spots and staring at me from different angles.

I was pretty freaked out by this point.

So, naturally, I did what every woman does in a potentially dangerous situation like this. Ignoring him wasn’t working, moving around wasn’t working as he kept following me, so I turned to him with my most annoying, angry, and discussing look I could manage, hoping it would repel him.

I was wearing my respirator, whilst being wrapped up in a scarf and I was also wearing a woolen hat down to my eyebrows. You could only see my bloodshot eyes that kept watering because of a cold and the fact I kept having these dry cough episodes that were exhausting me so much.

I’m not trying to put myself down or anything but I looked like shit.

Testování na koronavirus (COVID-19) pro samoplátce. Otestovat se může  kdokoliv na vybraných odběrových pracovištích SYNLAB. Nabízíme dva testy –  na přímý průkaz infekce koronaviru a na protilátky koronaviru. Na oba tyto  testy

So after one of these beautiful coughing episodes, this creepy guy comes to me, 2m distance be damned,(and let me remind you he wasn’t wearing a face mask) and asks me out.

He literally comes to me with “sorry for bothering you” and asks me if I’d like to have a coffee with him. I was so stunned it took me a while to actually voice the most absurd “no”  of all time.

The guy went like “oh ok” and walked away and didn’t bother me with his creepy staring anymore.

I mean I get that situation in Czechia right now is really tough. We’re in a lockdown, everyone is panicking, so many people are sick and many are dying. It feels like the end of the world and it’s scary and no one wants to be alone, I get that. All of the social gatherings are forbidden so it’s not easy to meet people these days, I understand that.

But Why.

Why would you think that the best place to find yourself a date is a covid-19 sampling point is what I don’t understand.

I was literally standing in the line for the covid-19 test, coughing my heart out looking like death and this guy’s first thought was “she’s the one” ?! Wow.

Thanks to the absurdity of the whole situation, my waiting for the test passed by very quickly.

Few minutes went by and the healthcare worker in protective gear came out and started handing out registration numbers, by which we’ll be tested. I got number 3 what was a great improvement from last time’s 222.

Closer to opening hours more people gathered around the sampling point but it couldn’t be more than 20.

It was 8:10 and I’ve been already tested. Big improvement from last time.

Even the testing itself wasn’t as bad as last time, mostly because I knew what to expect and the fact that the anticipation was much worse than the reality.

I even got the test results the same day: NEGATIVE.

The relief I felt after reading that message was so great, like I was suddenly cured. I was just as sick as the hour before but I felt much better knowing it wasn’t covid.

Testování na koronavirus (COVID-19) pro samoplátce. Otestovat se může  kdokoliv na vybraných odběrových pracovištích SYNLAB. Nabízíme dva testy –  na přímý průkaz infekce koronaviru a na protilátky koronaviru. Na oba tyto  testy

What an irony. In the times when everyone catches covid, I’m gonna catch the flu.

Covid-19 testing is a whole other experience for me. I’m not naive, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get tested much more times in the future. I just hope it’s gonna be plain and boring next time.

2 Comments

  1. October 26, 2020 / 2:14 pm

    Feel better soon! Thanks for sharing your story. Humorous yet REALLY scary.

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