Let me tell you about Alex the Sugar Daddy of mine, better known as a really lame catfish.
I’ve been around the internet for a long while now.
My beginnings trace back to ICQ, Myspace, Omegle, times when Facebook was used to play poker and Instagram was a dirty little secret.
Catfishes have been around just as long, even when we didn’t have a name for them yet. But with everyone online now, the imposters’ job became quite easy.
Some time ago I was approached by Alex.
As a creator account on Instagram with around 46K followers, my inbox is constantly full. From time to time I filter the DM requests. Meaning I’m deleting most of them. My DMs consist of primarily compliments, dirty messages, dick pics, collaboration offers, and spam.
That’s where I noticed Alex. His message was quite something and it went like this:
If you’re new out here, there are 3 basic recognitions of fake accounts.
Zero to a few posts, no to little followers, and dumb Bio.
Alex had it all.
He was a catfish clear as day but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my fun as well.
I took a screenshot and shared it with my close friends, joking around about my dream job finally happening.
My sisters were among the people I send the screenshot to.
As a proper Gen-Z they are, a couple of seconds later I was looking at an actual profile of Alex the captain my sisters found, after just a little research.
If a teenager can see your bullshit, why would you assume a blogger could not, is really beyond my understanding.
What’s the goal here?
I lost interest in figuring him out way too soon but I came to the conclusion there are 2 possibilities.
Either someone is really bored or it’s about money.
I would bet my left kidney that sometime in the future there would be some huge issue and I, as a loyal sugar baby, would be required to send money to the sugar daddy.
I totally get why would people want to pretend to be this hunky Italian captain. He’s hot, young, and looks rich enough to totally be an actual sugar daddy. But there are literally hundreds of fake Alex accounts. I feel so sorry for an actual Alex having to deal with this crap.
My fake Alexs big mistake was that he chose the most cynical bitch out there with a world-class bullshit detector- me.
I was really curious how far could this thing go so I started texting with my new sugar daddy.
Honestly, he was dull as hell. Always talking about searching for a loyal sugar baby, like he had some serious trust issues. I was wondering how much did my fake guy actually knew about the real Alex the captain.
Reall Alex is quite active on the internet. His Instagram is totally worth it with all of the travel and gym pics, he’s quite chatty on his Facebook page and he even shared some youtube videos out there. It’s super easy to learn something about him. Yet the imposters won’t bother to do that.
Then this happened:
Honestly, the one thing I believed from this catfishes words was that he’s 100% American.
Only the American education system could fail an imposter so much they believe Italy is part of Latin American countries.
That was really embarrassing. I felt quite bad for the guy. You try so hard to fool someone but your own stupidity ruins it for you like that. What a shame.
I kept pushing.
Why did he choose me to be his sugar baby?
The cringeworthy compliments that followed were so bad, but it had nothing on the poetic roses in his heart, destiny, and his thinking faculty being occupied by me when I lost all interest.
I called him out and never heard from my Sugardaddy again.