Let’s keep it PG13 guys. There is way too many men’s genitalia I’ve seen in my short life. Way too many unwanted dick=duck pics. What’s with the guys these days sending me pictures of their ducks before even saying hello?
I’ve seen so many ducks. Ducks of different shapes and lengths. Thick ducks and ducks thin. Ducks of different colors. Ducks in different surroundings. Wet ducks or ducks in briefs. Duck with circumcision and ducks without one. Ducks in motion. Hard ducks. Limp ducks. Seriously, why would you send a photo of your soft duck to a girl?
No offense but ducks are not very appealing to look at and the guys don’t seem to be aware of that. There is a clear difference between the nudes girls send and the nudes boys send.
Girls play with lighting and shadows. They pose for the photos. Lots of teasing. Sexy underwear. You have to actually work for it.
Guys on the other hand just whip their ducks out and that’s it.
You never know when you’re gonna see one. It’s so dangerous to check messages from strangers in public. They might come at the most inappropriate time and place.
My personal worse got to be in a very long and slow line to confession in church. That’s God punishing me for checking my phone in a church I guess.
There are 3 types of guys who send out duck pics.
Type one:
Sends duck pics before he says hello. They are the blurry photos in your Instagram DMs. They are the ones who send snaps of their ducks with little “hey” sticker on it.
Most of the time I know a guy from Snapchat by his duck instead of his face.
Type two:
Shock ducks. They are the ones that build a conversation first and then surprise you with their duck in the middle of a conversation about their childhood. Out of nowhere. You could never see that coming.
That’s why you have trust issues.
Type three:
Shy ducks. They are the ones that ask you if you want to see their duck first.
Then there are the ones that go for it no matter your answer and rare ones that accept your decision you don’t want to see yet another duck.
Just recently I realized why the third type is the worst. It was the realization that I actually consider a guy who asks me to see his duck first, a nice guy. That’s all it takes now.
“Can I show you my duck?”
And I’m actually touched by how considered he is before he wipes out his duck after just a short conversation and that’s so messed up. My standards are so low. I feel terrible.
So why do guys send duck pics?
What do they think it’s gonna happen next?
It made zero sense to me so I asked them.
The answers were pretty much similar.
First of all, it turns them on to know some girl is looking at their duck right now. No matter if she’s looking at it with disgust or a thrill, she’s looking because there is no escape. No way to unsee it now.
Second of all, they believe the girl is gonna respond with her nudes. That one came as a quite shock to me cuz never in my life have I seen a duck pic and my first thought was to rip off my clothes.
If only I had a confidence of a straight guy thinking his low-quality duck pic is gonna turn me on.
What is the best way to react to unwanted duck pics?
Report for inappropriate content.
Not like it’s gonna have much effect cuz you know, boys will be boys and there are hardly any consequences to their inappropriate behavior. But at least he’s off your list now till another one fills his place.
Ignoring is a good option as well, but after a while, you might forget he’s a duck pic guy and you’re gonna open up a message from him again and only encourage his disturbing behavior.
There are no stopping duck pics guys and I’m so tired of duck pics.
Decency seems to be a word too many guys have forgotten.
Thank you for responding to such heinous behavior with humor! I feel so bad for my gender sometimes. We’re all such duck-heads. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience that, but I have a feeling your sense of humor is an incredible shield! I got quite a laugh from this piece, anyway! Again, thank you!
Now I’m heading out to the pet store so I’ll be ready in case any women ever asks me to show her my duck! 🙂
Yeah, I always assumed it was for the thrill. That’s why there are guys who expose themselves in public too. It’s not because they think your’e going to sleep with them, they just WANT YOU TO SEE IT. Idk what is behind that desire, why knowing that a girl saw your duck is a turn on. I would feel awkward sending a pic even to a girl I was dating.
Why would they think that a woman would find that attractive behaviour???
Seems to me a strange psychopathy. The last thing I’m going to photograph is my own duck, as your calling it, let alone photograph it a send it to another person, especially a woman. But then there are so many strange behaviors I don’t understand. I guess there is a persistence of men fascinated with themselves that is easily manifested in the era of selfies, social media and texting. Sorry you have to deal with it.
This made me laugh, the way you worded it! Honestly though… what the hell are they thinking?
“Why would you send a picture of your soft duck to a girl?” Your use of the word duck is hilarious!
*high fiving you* Tell it girl!!! The limp “duck” pics are the worst. Seriously?! LOL Someone put it well above… it’s kinda like the flashers of yesteryear. Now the assibility is even more ready with fewer, if any, consequences. Yuck…. just yuck.
Oh my. I know the feeling a few years back I used to get a lot of duck pics sent 🙈🤢 I think some of them maybe feel if someone sees they’re Ducks they feel an Egotistical Power ? They’re obviously looking for a reaction of which my only reaction was wanting to vomit over my laptop. I mean seriously they just look so stupid no offence Duckers but its like they’ve been added on to the male species as an afterthought 🤔 anyway I’d just say Duck off and go send your selfie Ducking pics to someone who wants to see them but then maybe that’s it, they wouldn’t get the same thrill ? Who knows ? Personally I’ll stick to the wildlife ducks 🦆 cheers 😆 hope you don’t receive anymore duck pics 🤦🏼♀️
I think I just accidentally plagiarized part of your response bc I sent mine bf reading yours.
I’ll be honest and not ashamed to say I’ve never even heard of the word plagiarised before now. So let’s just “ great minds think alike” 😊
It’s basically stealing someone’s work. I like to slip in unusual words whenever I can.
Low class behavior
I COMPLETELY AGREE W THIS POST im so sick of men and their ilk
The way the world has gone I guess. It’s the new Hey Sexy! Or wolf whistle.
I would like to believe that your post is satire and that it really doesn’t happen. But, we are living in strange and crazy times and there is a kind of delusional thinking, an assumption of privacy and intimacy, associated with social media that encourages what I regard as outrageous behavior by both men and women (boys and girls, is perhaps more accurate, as it reflects immaturity). More posts like yours can help to educate those delusionals among us. Thank you.
Gross.I have my own collection of unsolicited ‘junk’ male. I publicly shame them, then block and delete. Zero tolerance for it!
There’s a whole culture here you could unpack.
It’ll never stop; so the best we can do is separate ourselves from individuals that consider that type of behavior to be ‘a-okay’.
Omg, stupid persons.
They need to grow up so much :-))
Great read, very funny but probably true.
Some guys will just never get over themselves being jerks. I won’t take or share dicpics any time soon. It is in extreme bad taste. Maybe when they mature mentally beyond age twelve…….if the development happens in that head between the shoulders.
This was both a hilarious and insightful read. I mean, beautiful women tend to get it the worst and so I’m not too suprised. From now on whenever someone talks about feeding the ducks, I will be thinking of this post. Bravo. 😜
hahaha.
r u irritate by these dicks. or like it i am confused of it. ?
There are some very strange owners of “Ducks “ out there on the internet Natalie 😂 By the way, did you know (You probably don’t) that your blog was one of the first ones I started following when I came on WordPress, and still following 😊
What is wrong with the guys? I’m with you it’s not acceptable.
meah you see one duck youve seen them all i like a duck i have to play hide and seek with and double brownie points if the duck owner is a gentleman
very funny post i loved it xx
That’s f*****g crazy! I promise not to. 😎👍
I’ve never thought that a pic of my duck would be a turn on. You’re right, it’s different with women
I’ve never understood it. Female friends get these pics all the time. Do the guys think that they will get somewhere with this?
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i guess so but it’s just ridiculous.
Those boys need to duck-off
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😀 😀 Love your comment. Thank you.
I had to work really hard not to laugh hysterically because I have cracked ribs and it hurts to laugh (and sit up, breath, blink, think) But the rat-Duck picture nearly made me lose it. Both laughing and barfing at the same time. What would that be? Baufing? Larfing?
And let’s face it – the creator was not kind to men. Ducks may be functional (sometimes -sometimes not so much) but they are most certainly *NOT* attractive looking. And in the quest for efficiency, how did it become a good idea to use the same plumbing for peeing and …well, you know. Don’t you guys even find that mildly distasteful and disturbing? And you all want us to kiss your duck. Then wonder why we get turned off at the very mention of poultry. That’s the real reason we want it with the lights off. Your fragile ducks need to think it’s bc we are ashamed of OUR bodies. Women’s bodies are beautiful- and you don’t have to be gay/binary (I don’t even know what that means) gender-bending or blending (don’t know what they are either.) But you don’t have to be any of those things to be able to agree that women’s bodies are beautiful. Men’s ducks are just not. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Sorry guys – we want the lights off so we DON’T have to look at it and can go into this mental state that blocks, temporarily, knowledge of the dual-function Duck.
I just can’t even…..I am so glad that this did not exist when I was younger. I would have spent a lot of time vomiting!
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haha yes. Thank you
never i did it
never i will
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That’s how it should be. Thank you.
In my dumbest of days -this would be anywhere from high school to the end of my 20’s – had this technology existed I can promise you I would never do this. I’m not religious, I’m not sensitive, or any other thing you can think of……it’s just so damn dumb.
Come on guys, be the smart one in a room full of idiots.
I never knew what a duck was, until you told me!
After letting everyone know how you feel. I would agree. Perhaps, let us know how it turns out.
Suggestion for that title.
Rise and Fall of the Ducktators.
Your article is tinged with irony and humor, makes an interesting read. Anand Bose from Kerala
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Thank you so much.
Sorry you have to endure such nonsense. I would think they would be afraid of being exposed (who they are, not what they have – or don’t). A lady recently sent me a photo of her ***** (I guess it was hers) by Facebook Messenger, and I am still trying to figure out WHY.
Ducks indeed! Love the hairless rat picture. 😂
you ever see that show Duck Dynasty?
HILARIOUS / Thanx for the lift. gray
You can always write back and ask, “What is that? It’s shaped like a duck but it’s so small.”
The world’s lucky I’m not straight.
I just saw a comedian address this situation and her solution was to respond to a ‘duck’ photo with another ‘duck’ photo. Pretend like you thought that’s what was happening, everyone was sharing ‘duck’ photos.
I’ll never understand why guys want to start with duck pics, but I have them tagged, based on size, shape, and color in order to giggle about them.
This was a fun read. I was drawn to it because I have an interest of sorts in duck pics. I take photos of myself in the nude (fully aroused–no limp ducks) which I then teasingly censor and post in little sets of galleries on my site. I don’t need to go into the reasons why I enjoy this, I only wanted to say I agree with you about the common differences between sensual photos of women and those of men. The last thing I’ve wanted to be is another duck-picker, though my duck does feature prominently in the pics I make. The kind of duck picks that SO many women unfortunately receive are not only in poor taste and judgment, they are also, it seems, completely lacking in any sort of aesthetic sensibility. The female body is a beautiful thing, but the male body really doesn’t have to be made so ugly.
Shit, there are types too? 😂
ew. so sorry about the messed up mindset of men. it’s all about a personal fascination with our nethers, and the very real possibility that we’re desperately trying to prove to a member of the “opposite” sex that we are indeed interested in them and not in other men. Also its a way to foist a deep insecurity on someone else: see? it’s there. it’s big enough. it’s somewhat functional? ok? Ok? pathetic.