Hey. 2019 is the worst and it’s been just 12 days. I’m having really shitty year so far so let me rant for a while. I had high hopes for this year but this bitch is really testing me. It’s been just 12 impossible days and I’m already done.
2019 is the worst.
Here is what had happened to me so far and there has been a lot. So I’m gonna put it all in different categories.
My youngest sister and her guy
I have 2 younger sisters, 16 and 18 years old. There is a big age difference between me and my sisters and I was a proper big sister/mum to them forever. That’s why I was so struck when I heard that my baby sister is having a “thing” with some American guy. Nothing wrong with that. They have been talking on Instagram and Snapchat for sometime under a month. Nothing wrong with that. He’s an adult and a soldier from Texas. Still nothing wrong with that but a little worried about a grown-ass man showing interest in 16 years old. He’s traveling to Slovakia to visit my baby sister and spend a week with her.
HOLD THE FUCK UP.
That’s creepy as fuck – who travels 12 hours and pays 1000$ to visit a young girl he found online ??!
I’m so surprised with my sister as well – first of all, to actually talking to him. She’s not very good at English. She’s capable of writing as it’s easy to search for a word you’re not familiar with. But she can’t speak for shit. She couldn’t tell me some basic info about the guy she invited for a week so obviously, I told her that I’m against her meeting with him in such a short time. It’s too dangerous. Surprise surprise the guy messaged me after that claiming he’s willing to answer all of my questions so I wouldn’t worry about my baby sister.
I’ve had my share of online creeps and that’s just natural when you work online.
I don’t even accept all of those sleazy comments I get on here and my Instagram message box is full of strangers making moves on me but I would never ever thought of replaying to such messages. It’s a waste of time for starter and I’m not gonna support that deviant behavior. And that’s why it’s so absurd for me that my own sister not only talks so them but also wants to meet them. Yes sure he might not that guy and I’m being overprotective and gosh I wish I was wrong and he’s not some serial killer or rapist who feeds on naive little girls like my sister.
I rather be wrong than sorry.
I’m sure you’re interested in what I and the guy talked about. I asked about his intentions with my sister, his family, and other personal stuff and his answers were just perfect. Straight from the book. His family volunteers in Africa. He’s a good Christian guy. Virgin and he can’t have sex before marriage. He wants to visit our lovely country and other bullshits I’ve heard a thousand times before.
Am I in wrong? That’s not normal right? Am I being totally paranoid? What would you do/think in my situation?
My other sister and her blaming
To this affair stepped up my other sister yelling at me to stop interfering in their lives. Said that I am messed up in my head and I have wrong opinions. That I’m not their mum and they don’t need me helping them. Also said that I need to stop thinking I had it bad cuz a lot of people are depressed and it was all my fault for not talking about my feelings in the first place. That I’m playing victim. People have it worst than me. Told me I’m just hating on all men for not wanting our sister meeting with this guy from the internet.
I didn’t handle that well, to be honest. I’ve been doing so much better since I’ve been on antidepressants and to hear those words from my little sister was not good for me. It’s been months since I cried like that and I felt like a went back months in therapy. That hurt a lot.
It’s so strange that my own sister is everything that’s wrong in viewing mental illnesses and I can’t make her understand. I’m sure she will once she grows up but I just can’t have that idea in my life anymore.
I know I’m not in wrong in this one and my depression wasn’t my fault. It’s never anyone’s fault. It’s an illness and it’s horrible of her to think that.
In this misery of mine, God decided that my laptop should stop working just in case I was feeling better. I can’t be that much surprised cuz it was just a rebound laptop – the cheapest I could find and that’s why the repair was not an option cuz it would cost almost as much as the original price of the laptop.
I’m writing this complaint on my brand new laptop that I just bought for money I’m in desperate need of because of unexpected events that happened next.
Biggest blow of 2019
Ex roommate drama
Me and Domc my best friend since we were kids moved to Prague together to start our new jobs in September 2018.
I always considered her as a sister. Before informed you a few times about how happy I am with my new place, new job, great friends, and just everything that went well in my life. I should have known shit will go down somehow.
2 days ago as I was hanging out with Domc as usual she just turns to me out of the blue and says that we need to talk about our future. She told me she does not want to live with me anymore. I have 3 months to move away or she’ll move.
Quite a shock I must say.
I still can’t believe this is for real.
Of course, I did not expect us to live together forever but I believe we would last at least a year and not only 5 months. I was so happy with my life and the fact that I finally had some sense of stability for the first time in my life. I knew that I didn’t have to worry about my living situation for at least a year but surprise surprise that was a lie.
So obviously I asked her why so suddenly.
I was seriously not expecting that, and I found out that she planned this since October and been looking for a place to move with her boyfriend for some time now just never bothered to tell me.
While she was working on her escape plan I kept decorating our apartment. I even ordered a new wardrobe for my room and had to bring those fucking heavy packages to our place on my own. She then had the balls to tell me I won’t be needing that wardrobe cuz she’s kicking me out.
Not that it’s her place at all. But we got it through her family so obviously she’s gonna be the one that stays and I’m the one that has to leave.
She also claims to feel guilty that I sleep on the couch.
To explain – we have – well we had – beautiful apartment with one separate room where I stayed at first and one big room that’s connected to the kitchen where she slept.
She was not happy back then either so we switched rooms and I thought things would be ok but nope. My ex-roommate complains that she can’t make midnight snacks cuz I’m already sleeping at midnight. She claims this was just a part-time solution for her and she thought that I was unhappy too.
The girl found it weird that I kept planing how we would spend summer here but never bothered to say anything.
She also offered that I’ll stay in this place but there is no way I could not afford to live here on my own. I refuse to ever live with anyone anymore so basically she just made a major life-changing decision for me.
She wants to live with her boyfriend and not me.
Fyi – her boyfriend is my ex-boyfriend and I honestly never felt weird about it cuz I didn’t have any feelings for him ever. But turns out a guy destroys another one of my friendships.
I don’t believe in love. There are so many things I’d like to say about love but I believe that deserves a separate article.
For my view of love check out this article called Let’s talk about love.
My friends keep wondering why I’m so skeptical about relationships in general when I come from a good family where my parents still act ridiculously cute even after over 20 years of marriage.
Truth is that every guy that ever came into my life took one friend from me.
There is my high school roommate who fell in love with this douche who forbids her from being friends with anyone. She moved away without a word and we’ve been friends since kindergarten and I know bare shit about her now. Then there is my university roommate who fell in love with this smarty pants heads over heels and realized she doesn’t need a friend anymore cuz she has a boyfriend now. So I lost another roommate and a friend.
And now I’m losing another roommate for a guy.
I believe you see my pattern here right?
I just don’t know when will I finally learn and stop trusting the wrong people when I should be trusting the only person who ever truly cared about me – my mum.
That woman is incredible. She told me months ago that I shouldn’t live with Domc, that she will abandon me and I’ll be left alone with no place to live. I remember vividly swearing by Domc how she would never do that, that she’s not like her mother and she would never do that to me.
Well, that was a lie.
It’s 12 days into 2019 but I want to make a few new resolutions.
- I’m gonna listen to my mum – that woman is always right and wants the best for me. Shame I have her stubbornness that makes me do things my own ways and do my own mistakes. I also have my father’s humanity. He can’t say no to people and always trust that people are genuinely good and that is a deadly combination.
- I’m not gonna depend on no one but myself – I can’t live with anyone else anymore. To count on someone. Revolve your life around their words and then being disappointed by their behavior is something I will not go through again.
- Always have several backup plans prepared – I used to live by this rule but since I moved with Domc I relaxed too much. Everything is good I’m not gonna think about the worst scenario. My bad.
Honestly, I don’t remember being so disappointed and angry ever.
Now I’m doing what my parents recommended me to do – I’m not gonna do any life-changing decisions while I’m this angry. I need a couple of days to think it over.
Domc panned this for months but I’ve just found out I have no place to live 2 days ago. She claims that she’ll help me with everything from finding a new place to moving but sorry I have a hard time believing a word she says now.
The worst thing is that I keep thinking about what did I do wrong. How is this my fault?
Was I a bad roommate?
Was I too demanding when I asked her to clean the apartment once in a while or to learn how to use our washing machine?
Is she blaming me for her long-distance relationship?
Truth is there is nothing I could do differently, she was planning this all along.
I made a new year’s resolution to take things as they. But that is much easier said than done because of how unfair it all feels. She’s the one that wants to move with someone else but I’m the one who has to change everything.
I keep trying to see something positive in all of this. I’ll be living on my own and won’t have to deal with other people’s bullshit. I can decorate my place however I like. I can get a pet finally.
But the truth is that I am terrified and hopeless.
I have no idea what the future brings me and not in that nice positive way that it’s been since now “what exciting news will future bring me” more like “I’m gonna be homeless with no money and friends” kind of way and that sucks. This whole situation sucks and I never saw it coming.
I regret the time I wasted that’s never getting back. I could have made so many different things meanwhile I’ve been waiting for her to find the guts to tell the truth.
What more can I say.
Thank u, next.
Thank you so much for your attention
Sorry for bumping you out